This issue, for all of my selective followers, is not so much about dear old Oz but about a plea to our Comrades in the US of A. That was probably not the best start, Comrades, but surly all the Communist silliness is behind us now and we can use the phrase in talking with whom we please. Comrades in Arms has been around well before Mr Marx stole it so I am bringing back into the conversation instead of buddies, mates, cobbers because that would be confusing for my internationals. But I digress a little.
We have to vote in this Country and it is a jolly good idea. Enforced voting prevents dramas like Brexit from happening and what a mess that ‘why bother’ attitude has got the Brits into. No in Oz we must drag ourselves to the voting booths come hell or high water be it for State of Federal or you can pay the fine. One thing we do not have, like Facebook, is a thumbs down box, one that lets the polies know we don’t like any of you bastards, you are all boring, have no original thoughts and stick together like cells in a cancer. All we can do to show our displeasure is by drawing a comedic penis across the 3 foot long in the old money voting chit. This is frowned upon and is not really recorded in the tally. On voting night they do not say “For Eden Monaro, Davis The Lets Play it Again Party, 495 votes, Peterson The Sex Part, 14002 votes, William Labour 16999 votes, Archer-Smythe Liberal 24677 votes, Penis Defacements 81 Votes” which is more the pity. But the point is as we shuffle in the queue toward our Chamber of Consideration Booth we at lease say “I dunno, lets give the Holistic Gratification Alliance a go and see if they can do any better.” We then make our mark and go and by some lamb chops and a bottle of plonk looking smugly at those still waiting and thinking “I bet you want to know, well I’m not telling ya!”
So I have been thinking about Alliances and Treaties and such like and I am coming to the opinion we should vote when our overseas Comrades vote to let them know what we think about them. After all it was all jolly when we went ‘all the way with LBJ’ and we thought Ronnie and Maggie were a great double act but, well in the upcoming US election, well quite honestly we think you are possibly going a wee bit to far in even considering your Mr Trump. Like you we all thought he was a bit of a giggle, a bit of light comedy, at the beginning of your trillion dollar count down but, well he is still there and he has, or could have, a football, one that could reshape the global map if he had a bad hair day. There is no way of being polite about this I am afraid, we don’t like him very much and as to trust, well that is a long bow to pull. If he gets in and wants to stick TRUMP on Airforce 1 and drop in, well, we may snigger a bit and that’s not fair on you. We like YOU, we always have, ever since Macarthur, Doris Day and the Beachboys, but Trump….really!
Alliances and Treaties are made with people you like. If you have a four at bridge and your partner has trustworthy and subtle openers like 1 no trump, you know where you stand, but is he or she leaves and is replaced mid game and you get a Nine Spades as an opener, well you look a little vulnerable and go all rubbery. (That’s a Bridgey thing by the way). You get the point. So please don’t do a Pomme trick and assume your fellow Americans will all be sensible because they may not be and we might be fired or worse sent a big bill for your Nimitz’s to potter about in our region and things are pretty tight at the moment. We vote that you vote and do it properly with no penis drawings. We will live with whoever you choose, actually we have not choice, but we do not want to live with the one you wouldn’t have chosen but are now stuck with. Have a nice day because Such is life. Until the next time, this is Brodie Goozée.